The advice conflicts because the materials do

Search for how to clean a toy and the answers contradict each other. Soap is fine, soap is not enough, boil it, never boil it, use alcohol, never use alcohol. All of those are true for some products and wrong for others, and almost none of the pages saying them tell you which category they mean.

So start here: what is it made of. Everything else follows.

Two categories, and the difference is not cosmetic

Platinum-cure silicone, ABS plastic, stainless steel and borosilicate glass are non-porous or very close to it. Nothing gets below the surface, so cleaning is a surface problem: lift what is on top, rinse it away, let it dry. These tolerate mistakes. You can scrub them, rinse them properly, and they come back clean.

TPE, TPR and most soft PVC are porous. The pores are too small to see and large enough for bacteria and mould to sit in. Washing removes what is on the surface and does not sterilise what is underneath. That is not a cleaning failure you can fix by trying harder — it is a property of the material.

The practical consequence is that TPE is a consumable. When the surface goes tacky, when it starts to smell even after washing, when fine cracks appear, it is finished and no amount of cleaning brings it back. Treating it as a long-term object is how people end up using something that should have been thrown out a year earlier.

This also settles the sharing question. Non-porous can be shared after a proper clean, or more simply with a condom. Porous should not be shared, and "I washed it" does not change that.

How to wash it

Unplug and remove batteries first. Rinsing a whole unit under a tap only makes sense if it is rated for it; if there is a motor, a battery compartment or an exposed charging port, do not gamble on it.

Warm water and a mild unscented soap, or a dedicated cleaner. By hand. No scouring pads, no stiff brushes — they scratch, and a scratched surface holds more than a smooth one did.

Pay attention to the seams, the texture, and the thread at the base. That is where residue collects, and it is the part a quick rinse misses.

Rinse until the soap is gone. Soap left on the surface is one more thing to react to later. Dry with a lint-free cloth, then leave it to air dry completely before it goes anywhere closed. This step is where most people cut corners and it is the one that matters most.

Storage is the other half of cleaning. A cloth bag in a drawer that gets air is better than an airtight case. Silicone and TPE stored pressed against each other for months can react where they touch, and a sealed box around a slightly damp toy is how the smell starts.

Boiling works for platinum-cure silicone with no electronic parts, briefly. It is not a shortcut around the above, and it is not an option for anything with a motor or a battery, no matter what the listing implies.

Three things that are commonly got wrong

**Alcohol.** The advice to avoid it entirely is too strong, and the reasoning behind it is usually wrong. Silicone rubber handles short contact with alcohol well; what it does not like is prolonged soaking or repeated high-concentration wiping, which can leave the surface chalky and stiffer. Where alcohol genuinely does damage is TPE, TPR and PVC, because it pulls the plasticiser out and the surface goes tacky. So the rule is not "never alcohol", it is "alcohol on silicone, briefly, if you must; not on soft porous materials".

**Silicone lubricant on a silicone toy.** This one is real. Silicone oil and silicone rubber are the same family, and they do not stay politely separate — the surface can soften and go sticky over time. Water-based lubricant avoids the problem entirely. The comparison you will see drawn to oil-based lubricant and latex condoms is not the same mechanism and does not actually support the point, even though it sounds like it does.

**Wiping instead of rinsing.** A cloth reaches the outside. It does not reach the inside of a button gap or the seam where two moulded parts meet. If the product cannot be rinsed, that is the one situation where a no-rinse cleaner earns its place, and it should be alcohol-free.

How often, and when to stop

Before and after use. Before, because of packaging, storage and transit. After, because residue left on the surface is what starts the degradation.

Check porous items regularly: tacky, cracked, discoloured, or still smelling after a wash. Any one of those and it is done.

If something hurts, or there is an unusual discharge, persistent irritation or anything that does not settle, stop using it and speak to a doctor or a sexual health clinic rather than working through a checklist on a website. In the UK, NHS sexual health services are free and confidential.